Justin Timberlake Tweets

The other day while looking at my facebook, I noticed a status update from Taylor Swift. Seeing anything on a social network by Taylor Swift makes me smile, because it’s actually her who does her updating and tweeting. She’s a normal young adult with an incredibly not normal job, but that doesn’t take away her interest in interacting with her friends and peers that we all have. I follow her on Twitter and her tweets are always sincere and real. I love it.

Then, yesterday I was looking at facebook and noticed a status update from Justin Timberlake, yes, I follow a small handful of celebrities on social networks. Ashton Kutcher is not one of them. It said something about him having a hard time making friends on Twitter and linked to this video.

Seriously though, this is Justin Timberlake. I’m sure his putting that on facebook immediately got him several thousand followers on Twitter. I don’t know. On one hand, if I’m a celebrity, I want people to follow and like my brand, so I want as many friends as I can get. On the other hand, I’m still a person and I don’t want crazy people I don’t know watching my every move. I’m sure that this is where discretion comes into play and you only provide limited updates about things or simply update only about your career. I’m not good at censoring myself though and I don’t like feeling like I have to do it. I suppose this is why I have no desire to be a celebrity. I would never want to be in a position where I can’t go out to Chili’s or the grocery store or the mall.

I just found it to be odd that he was basically like, I can’t make friends…be my friend! I wonder how many of the people he’s friends with or who follow him actually know him. This leads me to wonder how many friends celebrities really have. Sure, they’re friends with other celebrities, probably the same way I am friends with people I work with, but what about true friends like the ones I have from high school and college. A lot of these celebrities didn’t go to either of those places, they were tutored and then pursued their career in one form or another. I wonder if being a celeb gets lonely. What do you do on a Friday night when you don’t want to go out? How many people can you call to come watch a movie with you or play Wii with you and just chill?

Jeff’s FB Status

My friend Jeff’s facebook status: “If you don’t believe in love at first site, you must not have children and you have certainly never danced with your daughter.”

So sweet!

Keeping it to myself…and whoever reads this

So I recently heard from a friend (Al) something I already knew, but I knew because the friend (Betty) it directly involves told me straight.  Al heard from the other person this thing directly involves (Betty’s husband, Joe).  Now, I’m sort of torn because I feel like Betty should know I heard this and that people know about it, but it’s absolutely none of my business, nor is it my place to tell her that other people know.  The thing that’s making it so hard not to tell Betty is that down the line this could directly affect her marriage whether it be cheating or divorce and I care very much for her – which is why it’s hard not to say anything.  HOWEVER, I know from other people’s experience and through experience of my own that it is NEVER good to get involved in another person’s relationship whether it be trying to help or not. 

I also wish I could tell Betty that her husband is telling people “intimate details” (aka. he’s not getting any) of their relationship that although she shared with me, her significant other is sharing this as more of a complaint and something that is wrong with the marriage (from what I gather of the gossip).  I don’t see why he can’t/won’t talk to her about it or bring it up at least…I mean, they’re married.  If there’s a problem you talk about it, right?  Isn’t it better for Betty to know that this is a problem rather than just something that is accepted in their marriage??  I would think so.  However, again, this is NOT my place to tell her I heard this from Al…I just hope her hubby eventually talks to her about it rather than telling more of their friends, thus creating rumors, and maybe somewhere down the line cheating on or divorcing Betty. 

I wish I could just tell my friend.

What I did this weekend…

With the help of my friend Krystha.  We drank and painted all weekend…

I did this one.

This one Krystha did.

This one I did after I made another one, but messed it up and kept trying to fix it and just made it terrible.

This one Krystha did too.

I now have art!

Lonely

I really miss my friends from home.  I’ve been out here for over a year now and I have no close girl friends.  No one to call up and just hang with on Friday night if I want to go get a glass of wine or watch a movie.  I have a plethora of “friends” who I don’t hang out with regularly and who can tend to be flakey.  My boyfriend is my best friend (and he’s awesome), as I suppose it should be, but say for whatever reason (as so frequently happens in relationships) things don’t work out.  Then where am I left?  I have no plans for the 4th, when I go out during the week it’s with work and on the weekends I don’t typically do much…if I do do something it’s with the bf, his sister and her husband.

Last Sat was a friend’s birthday and I emailed her last week to see what she was doing and I got no answer.  Then I texted her Friday and got no answer.  Then I texted her happy birthday on Saturday and have still heard nothing.  I’m clearly not a valued friend and I’m not going to waste my time on that.  Another friend just straight ignores me when I IM or text her.  I’m over that too.  I just feel like everyone out here is so flakey and it seems so difficult to find real friends.  I’m just over it.  I miss my friends from school.

Adam

So my most serious, long term, very EX boyfriend is coming up to visit, but he is not coming up to visit me. He is coming to New York to visit his sort-of-a-fling, she’s-fun-to-have-around, I-don’t-think-I-really-like-her, and I-don’t-want-to-date-her-when-I-move-across-the-country-in-a-few-months girlfriend’s dad who lives across the river. Now, let me start off by saying we broke up. We broke up almost 5 years ago. He tried to get back with me and I wouldn’t have it. We broke up for reasons, many of them, that were solid and sound and legitimate. We will not date again and I think of him quite platonically at this point in my life. In fact, sometimes he annoys the crap out of me. I do not want to date him, and as far as I know, he no longer wants to date me. I would not hook up with him. I am a grown ass woman and I can be trusted to be in a crowded restaurant “alone” with my oh-so-ex-boyfriend.

So he called this last weekend to tell me he was coming here. I got all excited and we talked about when and where he would stay and what he wanted to do any why, etc. With that conversation came a, “well, here’s the thing.” So his new girl he doesn’t want to get serious about got him the plane ticket as his Christmas present…and he’s coming here to meet her Dad. He said he wasn’t sure she’s be ok with him seeing me. *gasp!* Are you kidding me?! We dated 5 years ago. Clearly it has ended and has remained ended. So the more we spoke the more he said he didn’t think she would “allow” him to see me. I’m astonished…allow?!? How can he allow this girl to keep him from seeing me. You come to where I live and don’t see me because a girl you’re not sure how you feel about is insecure and slightly jealous?!

If my current boyfriend had a problem with me meeting a long past ex-boyfriend for a drink or some food I’d tell him to get some confidence and walk out the door. Clearly we are broken up and the reasons were good enough to keep us apart for the last 5 years. All of the sudden that’s just supposed to change because we’re now in another city, so we can’t see each other? How super lame is that?!? Plus, consider this. Right now I live in New York. He lives in random Texas city. Not convenient for an affair. In March he will be moving to random as-far-away-as-you-can-imagine-in-the-continental-US city, definitely not conducive to an affair. I think this entire situation is ludicrous. There are a few things that need to be done here: 1) she needs to get secure in herself and in their relationship, 2) he needs to buck up and end it as he’s told me he plans to so that he doesn’t continue to mess with her feelings and screw up her psyche, or 3) he needs to decide to be fully in the relationship with her and rather than walking on egg-shells to keep her happy, he can provide her security in the relationship so that she is comfortable when he says, “I am going to go visit with my ex for a while.”

This coming to my city and not being allowed to see me bit is absolutely not ok with me.

Mark

…is one of my oldest college friends.  I miss seeing him at church on Sundays.  Granted, we didn’t hang out often in college, but I have very fond memories of both when we did and the man that he is.  Last night I had a conversation with him that made me wish I could do whatever he needs to make his life a little better for a while.  I can empathize, but I can absolutely not even pretend to understand.  He has more going on at once than I have ever had to deal with at one time.  Last night as much as I wanted to do more, I could only offer to listen.  I will never understand what it’s like to experience all that he’s having to handle right now and I know from being in a situation similar to one of his that anything I say will only sound stupid.  Why waste my breath and our time in being useless, so I did the best I could and offered my shoulder and ears.  I want to support him as much as I can from this far away.  I want to help him and for him to feel better.  I just hope that he doesn’t get stuck in a life he doesn’t want because it’s what’s best for everyone else.  What he did is right for him right now, but it won’t be forever and I hope he can remember that.  I hope he can live just a little for himself, he’ll need to.  I’ve been mentally hugging Mark for the last few days whether he knows it or not.  I hope my listening helped, cause it’s all I’ve got.

Go do drugs

This afternoon I called a friend of mine to finalize plans for tonight. He was at our old high school with about 24 other guys we graduated with playing a game of good-ole-fun football. He said they were leaving the school to go to a junior high near by because the cops had kicked them off the field for not having a “reservation.” Since when must you have a reservation to utilize fields at a public school that you pay taxes to support? That you went to? When did it become wrong to have a good fun game of football with all your old friends when everyone comes home for the holidays? I think it’s pretty crazy. It’s become difficult to have good quality fun with your friends on public property.

I’m angry

I’m just angry…about everything it seems like. Maybe it’s that I haven’t had time to go to the gym and run it out. Who knows.

I’m still angry that my friend blew me off over Thanksgiving, I’m angry about something I can’t write about on here, I’m angry that my friends are flakes, I’m angry that my roommate now not only has the bigger room, but now has control over the windows (cool air and natural lighting) of the apartment. I’m also angry about the way he “cleans,” and the fact that he’s just all around out for only himself. Just now I asked him to call about the cable box being broken because the cable company won’t talk to me (because he won’t put me on the account) and he said, “uhmm…ooook, I’ll try to call tomorrow.” I told him they’re open and he could call right now so he doesn’t have to call at work tomorrow (since he always points out how busy he is. He said,”ok, I’ll think about it.” WTF?!? He’s laying in bed watching his fantasy football scores change. Why can you not call about the cable box?!? I’m angry.

Update: Ironically she called 12 times while I was writing this. I’m trying to let it go. She made an effort. He called the cable people tonight. They won’t be here until Sunday to fix it. I want HBO to make the fact that I don’t have tv for a week better!

I’m angry that a friend made plans with Gail on her birthday and wrote her an email making it sound like she was trying to get out of the plans they’d made that night. Gail told her that was fine, but called me and it was clearly not fine and since Gail couldn’t say much else, I sent her a blank email with the subject: “You’re bailing on Gail on her birthday?!?”

She wrote this back: “I am NOT bailing, I have a HUGE party tmrw that I am VERY stressed out about right now and things arent done…plz dont say that I am bailing on her…i am trying to make everythign[sic] happen here. Dont worry about[sic]…I htink[sic] we will get a mani pedi together…”

I responded: “I’m just trying to make sure someone still takes her out on her bday. She was disappointed earlier and I can’t fix it. I know she wasn’t planning to go out til she made plans with her. Just thinking how I’d feel on my bday. I mean, don’t put her off for tanning. You’d be hurt if someone that that to you.”

I didn’t hear back from her, but the following day I emailed her and said, “Gail said you were “livid” yesterday that I called you out…but I’m glad you still went out with her. It was nice.”

Again I didn’t hear from her. I didn’t talk to her until Friday night when we went out in a group for Gail’s bday. She didn’t speak to me, so I asked how the party was. “It was amazing.” Then I asked how the dress she’d bought and had altered was. “It was perfect.” We didn’t speak the rest of the night and she left without saying goodbye to me, but made sure to say goodbye to everyone else. I sent her a texting asking her to call me tomorrow (yesterday) so we could talk about this. She called about 7 and I didn’t answer, but I told Gail she’d called. Gail told me to answer the phone. I listened to the message the friend left and it started, “Yes, I recieved all your emails and yes, I was very hurt by them,” then she proceeded to talk about how if I want to save our friendship I can call her, etc. I called her back because Gail asked me to and that’s the first thing I told her. It’s actually the only thing I got to tell her because she hung up on me. Awesome, right? I called back and immediately she launched into a session of bitching me out. Every time I tried to get a word in she cut me off which is VERY typical of her. Finally I hung up and we haven’t spoken since. I haven’t hung up on someone in years.  I haven’t yelled on the phone in years.  Amazing how she can bring out the high school in me.  What does that say about…nevermind, I’m truncating that thought.  Whatever, I think she’s being over dramatic. I don’t think I was in the wrong. I was trying to protect a friend, which I did, and that’s that. I said my piece, she said hers, why carry it out and cause all this stupid drama over something that’s done?! Whatever, I’m done with it. Apparently I don’t “care enough to salvage what’s left of our friendship.”

So all around I’m just an angry person lately and I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit.

Thanksgiving

So I went home because about a month ago my brother got a warno saying he’d be leaving Nov. 30th. It only made sense to come home and spend time with him. About a week before I went home he told me the date changed to Jan. 2. Oh well, it’s still one of the best times of the year, so I was excited to go home. Plus, Athens and Graham were coming. I was supposed to see Tash, and a friend from grad school was supposed to come in too. Her family lives in another state and she was going to come to our place since she wasn’t going to go home and didn’t want to stay in Austin. So this friend decided not to come, but wouldn’t pick up her phone or text me back. Pretty shitty. Maybe I just wanted to talk, see what’s up, shoot the shit…She IMed me to tell me she wasn’t coming. Awesome. She said she couldn’t afford it. This was after she’d come back from a camping trip and is planning to go snow boarding. Then she acted like I was a jerk for not being understanding. I finally quit calling/texting but texted to tell her I wasn’t texting anymore since I was tired of being blown off. She blamed it on her camping trip, but she wasn’t gone camping for a week and a half. The reason I stopped calling her back in Sept. is because she never returned calls or texts…and she didn’t seem to notice or mind. Is it not supposed to hurt my feelings that she deems a Thanksgiving trip to hang out (when she hasn’t seen me in 6 months) unnecessary and unaffordable, but can afford to go both camping and snowboarding? Just tell me you don’t want to go, cause at that point, I don’t believe it. She wrote on my facebook and texted me one night this weekend. I haven’t answered yet. I don’t know if I will. At this point I don’t want to talk to her for a while. That’s not how friends in my book treat each other.

Ok, so this trip was originally so I could go spend time with my brother before he deploys. Still a legitimate reason, being as he leaves in a month and a half. So the thing about my brother is I think he’s a jerk, and were he not my brother we would definitely not be friends. He doesn’t clean up his crap when there is company coming, he all but makes mom do it. He hadn’t cleaned the overflow of junk from his room out of the game room before Athens, Graham, and myself arrived. In fact, the extent of the cleaning he had done was to rinse the hair from his newly shaved mohawk out of the bathroom sink so we could use it. How considerate. The rest of the bathroom was still disgusting and you couldn’t easily walk past his room to mine (the room that functions as the guest room). Wednesday night he was leaving with some friends. I asked him if he’d cleaned up his things like mom asked. He didn’t and then left. I went upstairs and threw his things all into his room. Empty Coke cans and cups and all. Thursday he asked if I’d done that. I said I had and he acted all huffy. I told him mom had asked him to do it, the upstairs was unpresentable to everyone staying with us for the weekend and that was that. He really didn’t argue. He also didn’t stick around. I saw my brother for a total of about 15 minutes in the 4 days I was home. He didn’t bother to stay at home one night…or day for that matter. I didn’t see him at all yesterday before I left. You would think he would want to spend time with his family before he ships out. I mean, I made a last minute trip I hadn’t planned on because of his orders and he didn’t respect that at all. That’s like him though. He really doesn’t respect much of anyone. He’s respectful of officers in the army, but well, he has to be. I now know the 3 people he spent the week with are more important to him right now than our family and that’s great to know. I’m glad I went home. He also made a point to call and tell me before I went home that the picture I wanted him to do for me would be done by the time I got home. Well, the canvases still hadn’t been touched when I left last night. I just wish he would grow up and consider other people. Be a grown up.

So I spent the majority of the weekend knitting. Athens made me a scarf out of some yarn that I bought and I’m working on another. I wish I had more time for a hobby here. I only get to read at night if I want to give up a little sleep time and well, I only knit when I’m at my parents. Here my life is work. Awesome.