I absolutely HATE being around drunk guys. I can't stand it. They frustrate me, they irritate me, they make me want to be somewhere else, anywhere else. Friends blame this on working in a bar in college. They're probably right. I came in contact with plethoras of drunk guys on a daily basis. I would rather be forced to hang out at home alone all the time than be out with drunk guys. They lose their inhabitions, say stupid things, look at all of me but my face, get easily defensive and say offensive things, all the while asking me why I'm not talking. What makes you think I want to talk to someone like that?!?
Last night I went out with a bunch of friends for a friend's bday. I got home about 2. I got up about 6:30. Let me tell you how hard my work out was this morning! Anyway, a couple few of them had a little more to drink than everyone else. Let me just start by asking, why is it that the first thing a guy tries to do when he's had too many drinks is kiss me?!? Do I have a sign on my forehead that says, "easy?" I'm never going to go for it. Please just don't embarass me or yourself and save that for sobriety. I am a pretty shy girl and I'm NOT a PDA person. I will never kiss you in front of a large group of people, especially when we are not together.
These said boys also seem to lose all self esteem when they are in the bottle. They are constantly fishing and looking for me to say nice things. Let me just say, if when you are sober I am too timid to pay you a good compliment what in the world makes you think that your being drunk is going to make me want to do it more? If anything that is going to make me not want to talk to you beyond friendly outings anymore. I lose interest easily and being drunk and stupid is a good way out for me. Now, don't get me wrong. I like to have a good time with the best of them, but getting "shitty" is just not appealing, nor is it attractive. Can't guys just realize how much is too much and quit like 3 beers ago?
Now, after last night, that group of friends is going to be talking/asking about me and one of the guys in the group. That is awkward when people ask what's going on and you don't know what to say. "Umm…he's a nice guy, but we're not together, we're just getting to know each other." That's such a bs answer. I would just rather not give it and to not do that people would have to not ask, which is why I have NO problem keeping that fact that I have gone out with/go out with/will be going out with a guy friend quiet. I am a pretty private person when it comes to that stuff I guess. That and I am afraid of relationships. I am so much like a guy it's rediculous.
Last night on the way home, I was telling Tash that I am leaving for NY on June 1ish for 2 and a half months. I see little to no point to try to conjure up some relationship right before I leave, especially with someone who is going to be gone during the 2 weeks leading up to my departure. She told me that that is always my excuse. I always say it's not convenient. A year before I graduated college I got it in my head that I did not want to have a relationship with anyone because I was going to be moving soon. She was right. I did that. I just didn't see the point. She told me that something is always going to be going on and that it's always going to be "inconvenient," but that at some point I'm going to have to get over that. Maybe I will have to do long distance for a few months. She says I can handle it. I'm not sure I want to handle it. I have no problem looking out for number 1. I like it that way. Wow, I have issues.
I am going to need to date a guy I've been friends with who knows these things about me. I want him to know that I get scared and run away (call it self defense). I want him to know that I do like him and that he's just going to have to fight me for me, not to give up. I need a guy I've been friends with first. I don't want to jump into anything.
*addition* Just to clarify, I don't get bored with the dating or the experience, I tend to get bored with the person. They are either not religious or have an annoying sense of humor or, the big one, I feel smarter than them. I HATE that. Just thought I'd clarify that I don't get bored with the dating activities as much as with the person.