So he made out with her Friday night and knew she was going to be at the pool yesterday, which is why he didn’t come with me. He tried to kiss me Friday and I wouldn’t let him (again). He takes me out and “like to spend time” with me. He says I know how he “sides on that topic,” but she gets mad about whatever might be going on with us. She is cordial to me but only because we go to church together and I really haven’t done anything to her. I think she called him last night when we were hanging out. He acts like he likes me but he may act that way with her too, who knows. I don’t know their history or what kind of relationship they have or what they’ve had in the past.
I don’t want to get caught up in whatever was going on before I came into the picture. 80% of me wants to just be me, screw change, and not talk to him again. I know, though, that we go to church together and have mutual friends. Seeing each other and having to talk is inevitable. The other 20% of me wants to take EVERYONE’S (other than J) advice and give him a shot. The last time I took people’s advice, let down my guard, and gave someone a chance I didn’t want to, we ended up dating for a year and we’re still decent friends. How can I do that though when everything in me tells me I’m being played? Thing is, I always feel that way…with everyone. Am I just overly cautious now? Will I ever find someone and be completely ok with opening myself up to date them? What if I’m getting screwed over though? What if I’m not?
I could give him a chance, see how it goes, and if it doesn’t work out know that at least I gave it a fair shot. Or, I could not and just know that I kept myself from being used or whatever. Why is dating so hard? Shouldn’t it be easy?!? Well…easier?
Realistically, can I be mad about Friday? We aren’t together…he can kiss someone if he wants to. But do I want to try to persue something with someone who seems interested in me, has taken me out a couple of times, and then goes and makes out with someone else? Can I justify it by saying he was really drunk and had been drinking for 6 or 7 hours? Is that excusable? He still did it.
I am so torn.
Really, really torn.