Ok, so he’s been treating me like crap. Last weekend I went home because my grandparents were in town. I called him the night before we left and suggested lunch before I left the next day. He said he didn’t know, he was pretty busy but that he’d call me and let me know. He never called me. Didn’t talk to him at all when I was at home. Got back and hung out that night. He compromised and went out with me even though he just wanted to stay home. I compromised too…we left early. I ended up falling asleep at his house. I woke up at 4 and the lights and stuff were off. I totally did not mean to fall asleep there. I kept thinking I needed to go home. I’d say it but he made no attempt to walk me out at all. I ended up not leaving. I woke up at 9:30 (whoops), went home and went to church. That night after evening mass we all went to dinner where he didn’t even acknowledge me. Didn’t talk that night. The next morning he saw me and said hi at the gym. Didn’t talk again until volleyball Tuesday where we still didn’t really talk. V was there and I feel like things were cool enough with her. I think he was trying to see how I acted around her. He always brings her up to me, like he wants it to get to me. I think we were fine. I don’t have a problem with her. Really. He only said bye to me that night because one of the other guys he was talking to when I left said bye to me. He called me after he left, but I was on the phone with someone else. I called him back, we talked for like 3 minutes and he had to go. Didn’t talk to him again until Thursday morning. I sent him a text to see if he wanted to go to lunch. He said he was too busy. That night a big group of us went to Midnight Rodeo. He danced with me twice, I think because he felt like he had to. He danced with Tash all night. When he danced with me I’m not sure there could have been more room in between. When he danced with Tash there was no space, period. Didn’t hang out all weekend. Last night when we went to dinner after mass he talked to me when it was impolite not to. It’s rediculous. So, there’s my probably too detailed update.
I’m sick of trying and things never working. This is why I’m so reserved when it comes to relationships, so closed off, so not willing. I thought this was going just fine and then it’s like it wasn’t. I don’t know what heppened. Maybe I suck, maybe it’s that I’m not easy, maybe he got bored, who knows. It’s frustrating though. All I have to say is don’t make deals with God. He’s going to hold to them. I know why nothing ever works out for me, I just wonder when it’s going to. I wonder why things come up that I think are going to work out and then they just don’t. I want to know what happened. I never will though. I will not be that girl. That girl who doesn’t get the hint. That girl who keeps calling. That girl. I’m not her, I don’t want to be her, I’m not going to be her. I can not care too. I took his phone number out of my phone. I’m not calling him.
*update* This morning while I was working out as he was leaving he saw me, came and talked to me for like 5 minutes and then told me to call him tonight. What the heck? He’s like a totally different person everytime I see him. He’s nice, he’s a jerk, he talks to me, he ignores me…I don’t get him. Issues much? I don’t want to be the girl who will put up with everything, who follows the guy. I don’t want to put up with a bunch of crap. I deserve to be treated with so much more respect. Wow. This all makes me look ridiculous. All I have to say is I’m leaving soon. I don’t want to be that girl. Either one of them. The semi desperate one who will take anything or the one who doesn’t get the hint. I don’t know what to do.