Tonight I went and met a professor of mine who is in the city for drinks. I was nervous about it and thought it would be really awkward. It was. Until drink 2. We talked about a lot and I really enjoyed it actually. We had some good conversation about me, about him, about school, about relationships, about advertising, about work and maybe some other things. He told me that I’m more tough than a lot of the girls he sees through the program and he can tell that I want it. He gave me suggestions for the project that I’m working on and told me that I just need to work hard. It’s true. He said he thinks I will be successful in advertising…but will I be successful in other aspects of my life? Will I be a successful daughter, best friend, girlfriend/love, sister…? It’s wierd, what he asked me goes along with what I was thinking earlier this week. Sure, I could stay at the office until all hours of the night, but would that leave me happy in the end? He told me that when I find the person who makes me happy and who, when I am around them, allows me to be who I want to be…not who I am, not how I should be, but the way I want to be…not to let that person go. He said that advertising has ruined his health and many marriages and not to let it do that to me. It was good. I enjoyed our talk. Odd.
So back to what I was thinking earlier this week…I’m not sure I like who I’m becomming, but I don’t know how to become anything else. I want to be successful, I want to accomplish things, I want to have goals and reach them, I want to prove that I can do all these things, but is it worth everything else I might be missing out on and passing up? Is this really who I want to become? Is it worth it?