Sensorization

I never thought I would find myself having to consider what I was going to write on here and not being able to be open. This is the first time. I want to write about last night, I want to write about what happened, but I just can’t be that open, not when I know a lot of who reads this. Some of the people I would be ok with reading it, others I would never want to know. Maybe I will restart my paper journal and start taking it everywhere with me. I’ve got to get these feelings out somehow. I just wish I felt the freedom to write about it. Sometimes I feel like I’m too much of a goody goody. Shouldn’t I just be more carefree and open and honest? Do I always have to look good/be the good girl? I don’t know who I am if I’m not her though.