One year ago about 12:30 last night my aunt died in the arms of her youngest daughter, her husband, and my mom. Her death has, so far, been the hardest one in my life I have encountered and that is saying a lot. Last night mom and I talked about it some and mom was saying she misses her. It makes me sad, I don’t feel like I knew her well enough or talked to her often enough to be able to say I miss her. I just went back and read my blog entries from that week. Understandably, I didn’t write much. I wish I had written more. The things that really stick out to me from that week are these:
-her funeral was the day before Thanksgiving
-mom spent the week with my uncle and the girls planning the remaining bits of the funeral that my aunt hadn’t planned before she died
-for my uncle, mom took my aunt’s place and put off reality for a few days
-none of my uncles had cared enough to know that she had her masters in construction management
-it snowed while we were at the cemetery
-people didn’t know my aunt has a sister who looks and sounds just like her…it threw them off
-I didn’t answer my phone or call anyone back all week, I didn’t want to talk
-My uncle slept with the hat my aunt made herself on her pillow
-my mom’s brothers disgust me at times
-I don’t know my cousins and it makes me sad
-Thanksgiving at my aunt’s with her family on all the good china/crystal…it was all ready made or microwavable
-teaching my cousin’s son to throw snowballs
My family can’t go a year without someone dying/something bad happening. My uncle was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in July and no one really knows how he’s doing because he won’t talk about it, but I know his chances of survival aren’t that great.
On All Saints Day, Papa passed out in church and they’ve been testing him since then to find out what’s wrong with him. All his tests were coming back negatively. Friday he had a stress test and passed out or something during it. I’m not exactly sure, but I was told he had to be revived. They took him by ambulance to the hospital in Grand Rapids where Uncle Greg died. They found blockage in his heart and were going to put in stints, but decided he is too weak. Instead, tomorrow they’re going to do triple heart bypass surgery. I hope all goes well. Everyone else seems sure that it will.