Monthly Archives: June 2007

The way things are

I know this is what I always say I want, but is it? So far I’ve been here since May 15th, I’ve had 16 interviews with something around 45 people and I still don’t have a job. “No one is hiring.” or “they’re hiring an internal reference.” I have no money. I have no job. I have an ok relationship with a guy who won’t call me his girlfriend, who I haven’t hung out with on a weekend yet. We’ve been talking for a year and to be fair, the last few weekends one or the other of us has been out of town, but this weekend he has friends in town, which means I won’t hear from him, and it shouldn’t be that way. I’m not sure anymore that he’s what I want or deserve. I have some friends here, who won’t venture out to new bars in new areas. Last night I was supposed to meet up with some friends, but they didn’t go out until 12:30 and by then even though I had been ready to go out, I was ready for bed, so I didn’t go out. They said tonight we would go out, but I haven’t heard from them and the other friends who were going to come just bailed on me.

Ok, so to recap…I’m living in an expensive city with no job, I have an “eh” boy thing, and great friends who bail on me. I am homesick and beginning to wonder why I came out here. It’s obviously not playing out in my favor and I just miss the life I had 3 months ago. I miss my girls, I miss great guy friends, I miss having an income, and I miss having too many things to do. At least I can get some sleep tonight so I can get up for church tomorrow.

Oh, and I miss my mom.

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Self Esteem

I feel pretty right now. Maybe it’s just the heat. But I also feel chubby. Not that I am…but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel it. I hate that I don’t have a place to go run. I wish I could afford a gym membership. If anyone wants to buy me a gift, there’s a great idea for you.

This morning I had an interview at a staffing agency that felt like a COMPLETE waste of my time. I almost walked out. Oh well. Then a recruiter called me who says agencies are really hiring right now. I think he’s just trying to get me to work with him, because in a month and a half I still don’t have a job, so they must not be hiring too actively. Then I got a call from an agency a friend works at. He says he only passed on my number and I didn’t submit anything, but they have my resume…I have no idea how. Anyway, I have a phone interview with them tomorrow morning. Monday I start a temp job that lasts for a month. It’s absolutely NOT what I want to do, but it’s $20/hr. for a month. I just hope it doesn’t inhibit my job search.

I didn’t get the job I was up for. They hired an internal reference. I’m to the point anymore that I don’t want to talk about it. People keep asking how the job search is going…I don’t even know, I’ll let you know when I get one.

Today I got stuck behind a girl on the sidewalk who was walking slowly. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t get around her. This guy came up behind us who wanted to get around as well. He was right up on me and his bags kept hitting my heels. It got annoying, but I couldn’t go any faster to get away from him, so I turned around and said, “would you like to walk on my feet too?” Then I gave him this sarcastic ass smile and turned back around. His bags didn’t hit me again after that…and I didn’t see him again. :)

Last Night

Last night started out with a queen who lives in my building telling me I was fierce. I guess he liked my hot pink pumps. He commented on that fact that they matched my earrings.

Then at the bar where I was meeting up with my friends I met a guy who was really cool…and his brother is one of the 4 VPs of ESPN. He’s apparently putting together a new marketing/adv team. His words: “everything happens for a reason.”

After BB+R we went to BJ’s for a flash back to last summer. Brian, the manager pretty much offered me a job at their new bar that’s opening by Madison Square Garden. That would be exciting.

When I left there I went to stay at Stephanie’s…I didn’t want to pay for a cab home and the subway isn’t safe at 2:45am. When I got to her building everything was all blocked off. There had been a shoot out between some guy and the police. A cop let me under the police tape and walked me the 20 feet to the door. When I got in an elevator there were 2 detectives who were looking for something. One said, “there it is” and pointed to the floor. I looked down and saw blood. The other one looked at me and asked if I’d mind taking a different elevator. I said not at all.

I had a pretty eventful night…I had a fun night.

Certainly single

Well, Sunday I talked to him and basically said we need to make a decision. I want this to be called what it is. If that’s not going to happen I need to know. He said he needed some time to think. I expected to hear from him probably no later than today. Well, I heard from him today, but only for him to tell me he wants to talk Sunday. He needs a whole week. That kind of hurts. But, I’m not calling and I’m not texting. Giving him space. It’s hard and I don’t want to. I’d think he’d like me enough to claim me, I mean, we have been doing this for a year. I guess I overestimated.

So many friends of mine tell me there are so many guys out there who would love to claim me, but I’ve been single for 4 years. Where are these guys? Are they the same ones who are making lude comments to me on the street? I don’t want those, and if I’m as beautiful as they all tell me, I deserve to be a little picky. It’s never the guys I want who want me. I don’t know how I’ll respond if he doesn’t. I guess I’ll have to cross that bridge when I get to it. This part is his decision, but I did finally bring it all up and I did tell him what I want. Even if he can’t give me what I want I like him that much that I want to stick around, but I know I can’t.

So yesterday I had my second interview at that agency in Soho. The account director, who I interviewed with, reminded me a lot of my mom. Anyway, I just heard back and found out that they “went with someone else.” However, there is apparently another open position that the HR girl requested me for. That’s great and all. It’s great that I’m getting a lot of interviews, but really, it’s really wearing on me never being offered a job. I don’t know what else I need to do. I’m being myself and I have this passion for advertising, as well as 2 degrees in it, but apparently that’s not enough. I am so frustrated, and feel so rejected. I wonder if I could move home, live with my parents, get a job there and sublease my apt. Gosh they’d be mad if I did that. Mom and I had a conversation before I moved here…she told me that if I didn’t move in with them now they wouldn’t move in with me later.

Do you have weaknesses?

This afternoon I went to the agency in Soho that I interviewed with yesterday to drop off some thank you cards. When I was walking back to the subway I saw some famous guy, but I don’t know who he was. I knew he was famous because he had a crowd of people following him and there were photogrophers all over the place snapping pictures of him. Hmm. I wonder who he was.

Anyway, the interview was yesterday morning and I was there for 2 hours. I met with the HR girl and 2 girls from the team that I would be a part of. The first girl from the team didn’t ask me the typical interview questions, but she definitely grilled me on what I was be doing. Good thing I paid attention in school. I got through her case study with what she told me were all right answers. I really had to think while I was doing it though. The second one from the team asked me the more typical questions. What are your strengths? Weaknesses? What media do you consume? Etc. Apparently though I did really well and am being considered for the position, they just have a couple more people to interview. Anyway, I thought it might be better to drop off actual thank you cards than to send emails, so that’s what I did. I am guessing I’ll find out about that job some time next week. Until I do I have another interview tomorrow afternoon and Monday morning. Wish me luck!