I may go on a dating strike again.  I did it for a good 2 and a half years, I can do it again.  True to what he told the girl in the text, he is leaving town today to go on vacation.  In the text following her: “I want you” and his: “I want you too” he told her he was going to move his vacation to this coming week so he could go there…wherever there is.  He sent me an IM telling me he’s going home this weekend.  I feel sick, but there’s not much I can do.  He obviously doesn’t want a relationship with me.  At the same time this doesn’t feel real.  I feel like he’s going to call me at any moment and tell me he doesn’t want this and that he needs me.  He won’t.  It’s just that I have to adjust to this new reality the is my changed life.  I just have to get used to not talking to him every day and not seeing him 4 times a week.  Don’t get me wrong, I was unhappy and this new single life will be much better for me, I just have to adjust to it.  Afterall, he’s been a part of my life for 15 months.

 On a different note, I met a guy at my bosses birthday party who I gave my number to when he asked me for it, but I blew him off when he asked me out.  After about a week I changed my mind and we went out to lunch Monday.  It was so much fun.  We then agreed to get pizza last night.  I was really excited.  Pizza didn’t happen.  He had something else come up.  I’m not sure he was blowing me off, he very well might not have been, but that’s how it felt.  It felt like a situation with OPH…the way he’d say, yeah, lets do that and then he’d fall asleep or something would come up and it wouldn’t happen.  I got very used to being disappointed, but I don’t want that for myself, and that’s not ok, so we will see how hard this guy tries to make up for last night, because although it might have been a completely different situation, it felt like situations from my past.  I know I can’t hold my past against him, so I will try not to…but we will see.

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