Family Drama

So I know it’s kind of bitchy, but I’m still not over it.  Yesterday my brother was IMing me and I didn’t want to talk to him and listen to his snide little comments asking for congratulations or whatever.  I guess since he’s updated it on his facebook I am free to tell you that he is now married.  Married to a 20 year old who he swears he’s known since high school, but as far as I know, came into his life about a month ago.  He was married on Friday, by his chaplain in a church.

Last Sunday I asked him if she was his gf.  He said, “you could say that.”  Then Monday I called to talk to Mom and Dad and Mom answered.  She told me I was on speakerphone with her, Dad, Brian and Britney.  So I said, “so what, don’t say anything inapropriate?” Then Mom told him to tell me.  The way it was going I kind of got the impression that Britney was pregnant.  No, but they had decided to get married.  I completely thought it was a joke since I has asked the day before and didn’t believe it until I got Dad on the phone by himself.  They said it would be a paper marriage so that he could be paid more while in Afghanistan and she could get health benefits.  During the course of the week this somehow evolved into them actually loving each other.  I’m not convinced.  I think they’re now saying this (although they may be unsure) because my family was so unsupportive of a paper marriage.  In my eyes that is not a marriage at all.  I think maybe they both, in their hearts felt what they were doing was wrong, so they’ve convinced themselves that this is a real love.  I don’t believe it yet.  I won’t believe it until he returns from war and they live together as man and wife. 

My mom is scared he is going to go away to war angry with her and that she’s going to lose him forever.  She doesn’t want this to pull him away from her when he may never come back, and she doesn’t want him to be mad at her when he is going to a place where he could die and never return.  In short, my brother is being excused from all responsibility for his life because he is going to war.  He’s not being held responsible for his stupid actions and he’s not being treated like the 22 year old married man that he now is.  He’s being treated as my parent’s youngest child and only son; he’s being excused from everything and held to nothing.  Some day someone’s going to have to start treating him like an adult.  I’m afraid to say, but it may be whenever it is that my parents pass away.  Then they will not be here to keep his silver tray clean and his silver spoon full.

So this wife of his will be married to him for about 3 weeks before he leaves.  I don’t think they will be living together during that time.  So when he is gone for a year or most likely more, will she wait for him?  Will she really not date?  Will she be faithful?  I wasn’t going to get her anything for Christmas, I don’t know her a bit, but last night I thought of an amazing present that will make my parents angry.  First I thought about getting them this book, but I know that will cause a fight first thing Christmas morning, so I will refrain.  Then, genius!  I thought, I can get her a vibrator…since she will be married but alone for over a year.  Pretty sure neither of my parents will be happy with me, so I’m still undecided.  A friend suggested I put the reciept in with it and a note saying: “This if for when you’re lonely, but in the case that you don’t need it, it’s entirely returnable.”

Going home in 5 days.  Should make for an interesting Christmas.  Perhaps a very drunk Christmas.  Very much like in This Christmas…”This isn’t funny, but I plan to drink until it is.”

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2 responses to “Family Drama

  1. Ha, I think both gifts are funny… Sorry you have family drama,drama is the biggest reason i don’t have much contact with my family, it really is sad. Have safe holidays!

  2. Wow, whole situation sounds shady all around.

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