This morning on the way to work I decided that you can tell how much of a douche bag a guy is by his umbrella. I’m all for the small, black umbrella. What I am not for is the guy who looks like he’s wearing the best clothes he owns (it’s raining!) and carrying a golf umbrella he could fit most of his family under. Inevitably, because these guys have the largest umbrellas, they seem to think everyone else has to get out of their way. What makes the most sense to me when the sidewalk gets crowded and someone needs to lift their umbrella a little higher, it should be him. He’s the one taking up the most space, and he’s the one who won’t suffer when he lifts his umbrella a little further away from him because he has the most coverage.
On top of that, I don’t quite understand why one needs a golf umbrella on the streets of New York. I can understand having it, but it annoys me that it gets used on the walk to work. Get a small umbrella, one that does not force me out from under mine when I’m near you. Be considerate. But, in the end, I suppose he won’t be considerate because you can tell, afterall, just by looking at him that he is a douchebag.